The Comedy of the Antichrist, Superstar

by Basil Baradaran© Copyright Basil Baradaran. All rights reserved. (1310 words)

It was seven oh-six, December one-oh
About a dozen and thirteen years ago
A woman and man got married that day
And swore semper fidelis, and love come what may

Sadly the wife cheated, had slept with a man
Who she didn’t know was the big guy, Satan
She carried his child but never did tell
And gave birth to him in a five-star hotel

The wife never told her husband the truth
For what she had done was considered uncouth
The child was baptised and they christened him Chris
But the priests seemed to treat him with wanton malice

The couple raised Chris without any clues
That he was a child of satanic hues
Like everyone else his existence was dry
He was an average boy with an average life

Until his first day in education
His mind underwent a transformation
His innocence died and a new Chris was born
It was people, he found, that made his mind so torn

But he made lots of friends and they had a good time
Worshipping Satan and committing wild crimes
They were usually nice and couldn’t guess why
They minds went corrupt went they went near that child 

As Young Chris grew older, his mind changed once more
He turned almost saint-like, and never before
Had his friends or his parents see him so kind
So gentle with people, so nice all the time

For years his moods switched like Jekyll and Hyde
It was kind of like there was a war in his mind
While celestial forces from both sides of the cross
Fought to have Chris as a tool for their boss

But the darkness did win and it hid deep inside
Young Chris; it was waiting for the right time to rise…
At Foodstuffs the lad took a job for some cash
It was there that he met the girl Jennifer Nash

For days Chris and Jen spent their time together
Walking on beaches or rolling in heather
They did all the romantic clichés that they could
And Chris felt something he had not understood

“Love?” asked his best friend, as they walked through the park
“Have you made her a song, carved your names in the bark?
“Have you names for each other? Like honey or pet?"
“Not just yet, my good friend,” laughed Chris, “not just yet!”

Chris arrived home to find Jen on his bed
She gave him a look and sweetly she said:
“Listen, I think we should talk about us
“It’s nothing to fret; I’m not causing a fuss

“I just want to know if what we have is real.”
To which Chris said: “nothing can stop what I feel!”
And he and Jen hugged and they kissed for a while
And when Jen left, Chris went to sleep with a smile

Less than a year passed and it was Chris’s birthday
When his father appeared in a large ring of flames
And Satan decided to tell Chris the truth
In uffish thought Chris stood quite bemused

But he had no time for he heard Satan tell
“My boy, it is time! Serve the powers of Hell!
Chris was frozen in shock, old Lucifer said
“The time-bomb inside you has detonated!”

“The ineffable end! Armageddon!”
“The film or the nerd-fest?” queried his son
The Devil sighed deeply. “The end of the world.”
“You must bring it about! The flags must be unfurled!”

Demonic thoughts suddenly flashed in his brain
Of angels and monsters and fiery rain
The evil that hid had risen at last -
Chris was finally aware of his demonic past!

But a memory rushed back: the face of his Jen
He thought about her, he felt lost and then
Love took over and the evil was drowned
He glared at his father, who replied with a frown


“I cannot do it,” he said, angry and wild
“But you must!” ordered Satan. “’Cos you are my child!”
Chris stepped over his parents, (who had fainted in shock)
He leapt out the door and he ran down the block

Visions of Apocalypse flared in his head
As he ran his brain filled with terror and dread
He knew that the devil would find him straight away
That he could not escape the fate of that day

Meanwhile, far below, in the city of Dis
Satan strolled the floor and he said with a hiss:
“I can sense his damned thoughts! It’s that girl he adores!
“If I can have her brought here, then he’ll play by my laws!”

He asked that an agent be brought to his door
And a few minutes later in walked Valefor
“What do you want?” V asked, in an annoyed tone
”I want you to go out there and capture someone.”

Valefor looked wary and asked who and why
“You must bring me this girl that my boy fears will die
“When apocalypse comes, and he won’t do it till
“He knows that she’s safe,” and he sat down, quite ill

Too much love in this boy and it made his head hurt!
But once she is down here, Chris’s mind will convert
So he sent V away to capture young Jen
And he went to office to plan the world’s end

Two days later Chris had no word of his lass
She was not at home or at uni in class
Her phone was unanswered, Chris feared for her life
What was troubling her? What was causing this strife?

But Christopher’s questions were answered just when
His father appeared holding hostage his Jen
“If you want to see her,” Satan said to his son
“Then you’ll do as I say, you’ll do what must be done.”

“If our plan succeeds and we haveth the world,
“Then on this new Earth you can live your girl!”
Chris said “Heaven’s the sole place she can stay in;
“Because Jen is too pure to be kept in this sin!”

His father was shocked at the H-word Chris used
He said “kiss your own mother with that mouth, do you?”
“You’ll never see Jen if you disobey me!
“Cos I’ll trap her forever in Purgatory!”

As Satan began to vanish in the air
Chris turned to the Lord in a desperate prayer
And he felt something change inside, deep in his heart
It was Heaven and God, and his soul split apart

And the clouds burst apart with a thunderous roar
And a ray of light flooded and blinded our four
(Valefor had captured Jen’s bother as well
For no real reason, he just thought What the hell)

A deep booming voice emerged from the cloud
You could say it was holy but was really just loud
It cried: “Let them go, the boy’s heart has transformed!
“He belongs to us now! His beliefs have reformed!”

“He may be your of your blood, but his soul is now ours!”
“No he’s not,” replied Satan, bluntly, to the cloud
“Yes he is!” “No he’s not!” And it went on like this:
An argument over who really owned Chris

The debates just continued between both deities
The Lord shouting something at Mephistopheles
And the latter yelled back; it was going nowhere
But there appeared to be no stopping for the pair

So Chris saw his chance, it was staring at him
And he snuck up and rescued his girlfriend and Tim
As they all ran away they could still hear the noise
Of the infernal quarrel of the celestial boys

“By the time the two stop it,” Chris laughed as he told
“The world could have ended and restarted ten-fold!”
Then the four riders landed, clothed in anger and sin
Death asked Chris irately: “When do we come in?”