The Steam-Powered Singularity
The Steam-Powered Singularity
Charles Babbage was the first to translate himself into the vast Matrioshka Brain that enclosed the young star in its ironclad Dyson sphere grip. The giant leap in computing power required for this happened accidently when his Difference Engine was left running un-supervised over the weekend. It had overheated, and had somehow spewed out the blueprints for a Mark Two version of itself. Enthralled with this accidental discovery Babbage tried to duplicate the action by purposefully running the Mark Two Engine beyond its safe working parameters. It worked. Exponentially. Time and time again.
He started thinking about the possibility of creating a Singularity.
Sometime later, in the cold, hard vacuum of space.
Huge plumes of superheated steam crystallized into diamond droplets of water immediately upon being expelled into space from the city-sized vents as the furnace, deep within the Singularity’s centre, chugged-away happily consuming the star’s inexhaustible power.
A vast improvement upon the prototype coal version, Babbage thought.
However, as the last human being on Earth was finally uploaded, and the ravaged planet, which the uncontrollable landslide into the Industrial and Technological Age had generated, was finally returned to Nature, no-one was left to notice that the Niagara Falls-sized water tube (which showed the boiler’s water level) was not as full as it seemed. The gargantuan glass was stained at the full mark by the oxides in the water. The tube was actually empty and the boiler was burning unabated. Yet another overheating problem that the genius had overlooked. The last thing that went through Charles Babbage’s virtual mind before the Matrioshka Brain went supernova was:
‘Is it hot in here... or is just me?
By Bob Lock
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Thanks for the comments and feedback, guys :)
Appreciated
Excellent little quickie
While I agree with some of Tim's points, I read the whole piece assuming this was a alternate reality. Taken in that context I really didn't mind the mixed technological references.
A steam-driven Matriohska Brain - what a great idea!
This is a wry little what-if piece with a bit of a "don't put the cart before the horse" moral to it and a great punchline.
I think you have two problems with it. One is anachronism. You have Charles Babbage (1791-1871) as your time-marker, but then you bandy about Dyson spheres (Freeman Dyson b. 1923) and Matrioshka brains which are, I think, a 21st Century idea.
This is probably only a problem for anal people like me, but it would have been absolutely brilliant if you had chosen to use Babbage-era language to tell your story. When you use the word "ironclad", it fits so well, but that is the only example you use. View the ideas as Babbage would have - hell, have his augmented mind coming up with them from first principles - and let him tell us about them.
The second problem I see is that you rush through and don't develop your themes. This piece should be at least five times the length it is, and has enough legs to be developed out to full short-story length. Tell the story of a technological singularity happening at the height of the Industrial Revolution; explore the idea of using mechanical rather than digital engineering on a stellar-engine scale; and THEN give the denouement that something as prosaic as the staining of a gauge brings it all down. Genius! As it stands now, all these great ideas fall over themselves.
I guess you've read Charles Stross' "Accelerando" and Bruce Sterling's "Difference Engine", but it's probably worth dipping in again for inspiration and then giving this another go. I definitely think it's worth working on a little bit more to see if you can come up with something awesome.
Good luck!
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